just tell him i said nine months
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
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