yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
