That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I will pee on everything he values.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
