id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize