I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
