I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Rumble strips road head = magical
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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