Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
