Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize