yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
