it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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