I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize