based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
