woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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