my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
