addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
