U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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