so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
