wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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