Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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