he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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