So drunk its hurt
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize