Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
