He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
