just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
