so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
