but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
