lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
