If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
