I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize