Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
