did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
