Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
