lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
