I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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