I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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