What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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