i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
