and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
