You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
