Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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