Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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