well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
