Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize