Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
