I'm gonna have a badass scar
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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