I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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