1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
