you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
