U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize