Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I am spending my child support on dildos
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
