ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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