butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
