The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
