Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(250): View more from British Columbia

even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.

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(415): View more from California

Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in

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(806): View more from Texas

Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.

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(713): View more from Texas

I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?

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(708): View more from Illinois

Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.

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(775): View more from Nevada

Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.

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(317): View more from Indiana

I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true

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