why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
