I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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