i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
