that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
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