Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
