please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
