Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
